Hi there, and welcome to my newsletter.
I’d like to introduce myself and share more about why I want to explore the underworld and share the rich nuggets I have picked there.
Why the underworld? And why pomegranates?
Let’s start at the beginning…
I’m British-born Indian Gujarati woman whose parents were born in East Africa. I was born in London and raised in Barnsley; a northern, all-white and pretty racist town. It was common for me to receive racial abuse from grown men on the street as a young schoolgirl.
My mum, who I was incredibly close to, died of Leukaemia when I was just nine years old. This was the moment I was plunged into the underworld, having to face the enormity of death and grief, and the loss of the one person who validated my identity as an Indian woman in a very white world.
My father started a relationship with my school friend’s mum within a month of my mother dying. She is a white English woman who quickly made me the scapegoat of the family.
My grief was never addressed adequately by my family, and combined with the narcisstic abuse I endured from my stepmum (with no support or protection), I developed cPTSD. Healing from all of these adverse circumstances has been my highest priority since then.
This is all to say that I have lived in the underworld for a very long time now. Like Persephone, I ate the pomegranate, and now I live with one foot down there, and one foot in the overworld.
And this is also to say that, despite the agony of my life’s circumstances, I learned more in the underworld than I could have imagined. And it was the boon I never expected.
We Will Pick Pomegranates Together is a line from one of the poems from my book Half Woman Half Grief, and it felt like an apt title to invite others to journey and heal with me down here.
I write this to you as someone who is now living the way I always wanted to. I’m travelling the world (safely) with my partner, having left England to start afresh, gain broader perspectives and simply be happy. I’m also working from wherever I am, in areas I feel incredibly passionate about.
Getting here took time, courage and energy - and nothing is ever ‘perfect’ - but I’m here, and I feel very grateful.
This newsletter is an invitation to you to come and explore the rich fruits of the underworld, of mysticism, our intuition, the dark feminine energies present in all of us, deep healing and energetic sovereignty.
I will write about the things we are often afraid of - death, grief, abuse, trauma, and rage - so that it can come into the light and be integrated. This is also known as shadow work.
There will be reflections of my life as a mystic, an Indian woman, a traveller, an activist, a highly sensitive person - and the various other lenses I experience the world through.
I will also share my offerings as an author, astrologer and activist.
And I would love to build and grow community here - and start offering some online gatherings when the time feels right.
My Offerings
Last year I published my first book; a collection of poetry about death, grief, rage, trauma, mysticism and, ultimately, healing. It’s called Half Woman Half Grief and it mirrors the mythological heroine’s journey through the underworld of loss and darkness.
I’m an astrologer who combines natal, horary and evolutionary astrology to provide 1:1 readings. My approach is intuitive and deep, bringing light to the darker corners of our chart so we can start to heal and integrate those areas.
And lastly I’m a decolonial and anti-racism activist who co-hosts The Decolonial Podcast, where we explore the harmful impact of British colonialism, as well as the healing and reconciliation of it, through our identities as Indian and Pakistani women.
So if this resonates with you, then please subscribe to my newsletter, share with others who you think may be interested, and check out my offerings. I’d also love to hear from you, so if you feel called to, please leave a comment!
The Underworld and Her fruits are so demonised in our world that its rare to find someone who offers such a welcoming invitation into Her as you do. I'm looking forward to future newsletters from you!