Healing from Racialized Body Dysmorphia...and some exciting updates!
It’s been a while since my last newsletter. Truth be told, I didn’t feel like it was the right thing to do until now. I go with what my intuition guides me to do, and for the last few months I’ve been going through so many inner transformations that my energy was used to focus on that. During this time, I also launched a consultancy business with my business partner Daniel Edmund and started a new 1:1 mentorship offering, which you can read about below.
Tips for healing Racialized Body Dysmorphia
These past few months, I have been healing my racialized body dysmorphia on a much deeper level. For many years, I hated the way that I looked, due to internalized misogyny, racism and colonial thinking. I wanted to share some healing tips and a guided meditative practice for those who had also struggled with this.
I also wrote an article for Wild Women Press, called The Defiance of Beauty, which resonated especially strongly with women of colour.
Even though I am not a clinical expert in this field, I speak from lived experience and a background of working in mental health. So bear in mind that some of these tips may work for you and some may not, and that's ok:
👁️ Placing photos of myself as a child, teen and adult around my living space. Looking at them daily so I can normalize my own appearance.
👁️ Looking in the mirror for at least 5 -10 mins daily, to overcome the internalised shame. Whilst doing this, allowing myself to release any emotions that come up and saying loving words to myself.
👁️ Using a photo of myself as a screensaver on my phone, especially with the feature/s I dislike.
👁️ Finding images of other people who look like me and share similar features and skin colour. Looking at these daily to decolonize my beauty standards.
👁️ Talking to other (safe) people about it. Shame can multiply when hidden.
👁️ Specifically talking to other people from my own community, so we know we're not alone.
👁️ Journalling/writing/singing/dancing it out.
👁️ Acknowledging my very valid rage towards those who put this toxic conditioning into me.
👁️ Unfollowing any accounts which make me feel bad about my appearance and which do not represent people who look like me.
👁️ Watching what I 'consume' from the media, like TV, magazines etc. Being very vigilant around how they make me feel and not exposing myself to them.
👁️ Looking at photos of my ancestors and cultivating pride within myself for being part of them.
👁️ Learning more about my people and their culture.
A Visualisation Exercise
This is written, and one day I may record it. Feel free to use it as you wish; perhaps read it and let your feelings flow, or take one paragraph at a time, close your eyes and visualise whatever comes up for you. Even if this exercise doesn’t resonate, it’s completely ok. I recommend being alone in a safe, comfortable space and position in front of the mirror, perhaps with candles lit for your ancestors if you wish, and some relaxing music in the background. Feel free to repeat this whenever you feel called to.
That part of yourself that betrayed your cultural difference? That you wished to erase?
Turn to the mirror. Take a long look at this part of you. If you wince at first, it's okay. This is understandable. They tried to erase your features, your culture, your ancestors. They tried to pour their shame into you.
But keep looking. Look so hard it hurts. Let the tears come. Let the pain start falling from your eyes, and do not try to stop it. Let the waves bring release. Just feel.
Keep looking. Look so deeply that time and space dissolves and you are just there with you. No past, no future. Just you.
Keep looking. Look so ferociously that soon you start to hear sounds in the distance. Lights appear over the horizon. Softly lit lamps. The crackle of fire. Ripples of warm laughter. Vibrant colours, scents, music, humming towards you.
Look again. See them. See your ancestors, approaching over the hilltop. Walking steadily towards you with their arms open wide, embracing the very idea of you. Longing for you. Waiting to bring you home.
Let them approach you. Embrace you. Welcome you. Let them dance for your homecoming. Let them sing their ancient songs into the sky. Breathe deeply and rejoice with them. Feast. Hear their melodic language. Your Mother Tongue. Let it reach deep into you and hold you like a mother holds her child. Sacred is this day.
Reach down and touch the red earth beneath your feet. This is your land. You are Home. Safe. Remember this feeling deep within your heart.
Now can you see?
You are every face carved into one.
You are the blood of Many.
You are Testament.
Sacred. Holy.
A prayer to The Mother.
You are loved beyond earthly
comprehension
and Your belonging.
Your beauty.
is non-negotiable.
Rest. Breathe. Be in this knowing.
My Offerings
Mentorship Sessions
In this one hour session, I will hold sacred space for you to share what you wish to have guidance and mentorship with. Drawing on my wide ranging personal, mystical and professional experience, I will intuitively guide you through a process of transformation in this area, using a combination of practical energy techniques, wisdom and knowledge.
I recommend approaching this work with an openness to these sessions bringing transformation and activation, not just in one area of your life but in quite a few.
Please note that I will be closing my books for Intuitive Astrology on 1st October 2022, so please book now if you wish to have a session.
Consultancy
I am super excited to announce the launch of Energetic Conversations, a consultancy company I co-founded with Daniel Edmund to help heal the racial, gender and mental health dynamics within company cultures. To find out more about us, check out our YouTube channel, our instagram and our website.
Book
Half Woman Half Grief is a collection of poetry about death, grief, rage, trauma, mysticism and, ultimately, healing after my mum died when I was only nine. It mirrors the mythological heroine’s journey through the underworld of loss and darkness and supports others going through their own dark night of the soul.